So Long and Thanks for all the Fish

Farewell Istanbul, for now.

Till next time stay the cool.

Thanks also to all the great people who made the experience great.

We'll meet again some sunny day.

Below is a radio show that I recorded for my students so they could hear themselves speak.

I hope you enjoy.

Be sure to check out the next stage of the blog...

in the USA.

Till then,

Take it easy,

Peace out

Al

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Ministry of Tourism

Istanbul
The Final Word

In the same way that Berlin is not Germany, London is not England and New York is not America, Istanbul is not Turkey. These are city-states with their own seperate identity.

This can be demonstrated when you meet someone from these places and you ask "Where are you from?" and they say "New York."

Then I usually say "That is in the US isn't it? I am from Perth." and they give me a strange look and ask "Where?" - but that's my bitch.

The point of the story is, I can tell you about life in Istanbul rather than life in Turkey - I have been to Turkey a couple of times and it seems to have little in common with the former capital.

Many of my students describe two Turkeys – one the modern western model from Ankara to the west and the traditional, more Islamic one to the east of Ankara. I cannot really tell you much about the latter, as I have not been there.

I know it has been said before and it sounds naff but it is true - this is a city of contradictions. East meets West, old meets new, Secular meets religious with all the contradictions that come along with this.

Here are a few observations I would like to make before I sign off on this blog:

People

I know it is wrong to make sweeping generalizations, but there are definitely some national characteristics that can be observed in every culture.

Maybe it is best to use the students’ own words to describe themselves. These are a few adjectives I have heard:

Friendly – people have been very good at trying to help and I have benefited from their hospitality on many occasions.

Passionate – I have never seen so many raging arguments and lover tiffs in the streets. No one seems to pay any attention.

Nationalistic – “this is the best country in the world!”

Well dressed – Istanbul is the home of big hair, fad fashions and the peacock male.

Modern – Istanbullus pride themselves on being part of a modern secular republic, enjoy new (and very expensive) technology and all the benefits of the modern world.

Traditional – you will live your parents until you are married and make babies.

Proud – of their country, of their children, of their history, of their new car etc etc.

Jealous – This might be the cause of all the arguments, don’t look at another man’s woman and expect a lot of phone calls when you have a Turkish boy/girlfriend.

Smelly – In summer this can be murder on the tightly packed buses. Enough said.

Selfish – They do seem to put themselves before anyone else if given the opportunity whether this is queuing up at the post office or trying to get through traffic.

Homophobic – odd scene.

Xenophobic – “I don’t like Greeks, or Arabs, or the French, Kurds, Americans”; “German and English people are cold”; “black people are all thieves and drug dealers” etc etc.

This said they are a Mediterranean people who love to party and have a good time. I have spent many a night in a folk bar with everyone singing along to traditional songs and getting up to dance.

Photo from Mark

Religion

Islam is to Istanbul as Christianity is to Australia. This is the best way to sum it up.

Turkey is the worlds only secular Muslim state which many (America mainly) propose as a model for the Islamic world; but what is the cost of this?

When Ataturk set up his secular republic he put a great influence on the military, when the political leaders got too far from secularism the military was charged with returning it to his vision – in the form of a coupe of which there has been many: 1960, 1971, 1980 and 1997.

Most of the people are not very religious. Everyone said they believed in god but when asked about religion, they said that it was between them and god. Good answer.

Religion here, as in most places, takes the form of culture: people celebrate the bayrams (religious holidays) even though they are not very good at telling you what they are about (a lot like western countries) and people don’t eat pig products. All the people I met only spoke with scorn of extremism and terrorism.

The state does not recognise a marriage conducted in a mosque and if you do take this option, you can have the maximum number of wives that the religion allows. So marriages take place in the registry office and then followed by a party somewhere else.

When you go you will see lots of mosques, but not many people in them. Five times a day you will hear the Ezan or call to prayer but you won’t see many people stopping what they are doing.

Something you will see today in Istanbul is headscarves even a lot of those cover all black ninja outfits. When you look at photos of the city fifty or sixty years ago, it would be hard to spot one. Today they are many fashionable silk numbers covering the hair of the devout.

Ataturk banned the fez and the headscarf shortly after coming to power; its resurgence in popularity has been attributed to the “political Islam”: a sign of rebellion against modernisation and a return to traditional values. Still one wonders whether it is the free choice of the women or that of their fathers and husbands. It is difficult to tell.

Still in the secular state, if you want to hold public office or go to a public university you are not allowed to where a headscarf. This said, the wife of the prime minister wears one.

From my point of view, I could not care less what you wear, as long it is by your own free will. You should be judged by your actions rather than your fashion sense. As for men who force their wives and daughters to put a bag over their head when they go out – they must not have very high opinions of their choices in life.

Photo from Trey

Really, the only religion that is faithfully followed here is football.

Language

This was one of the biggest changes that Ataturk made to Turkish society after coming to power. He changed Turkish from Arabic script to Roman. Not the easiest task in the world, so he had to add a few extra letters and create a few new words. Apparently he did this more or less by himself, and so much so, that some of his most famous speeches were comprehensible to only himself and a few of his closest aides.

The syntax, expressions and grammar seem to have remained the same from Ottoman times. It is definitely not the most attractive language in the world. I often wondered if people were arguing or exchanging pleasantries.

I also found most people to be very unforgiving with the pronunciation. Now, when I am listening to someone trying to speak English I do my best to get the gist of what they are saying. The Turks on the other hand, never seemed to get what I was on about. Most likely, they were not really expecting me to say it.

Politics

The history of the Turkish Republic has been a rocky one. The secular state that was Ataturk’s legacy put the military in charge of keeping it that way. The coups mentioned earlier are evidence of this.

To keep the military in their position of power there is an ingrained programme of nationalist indoctrination from birth. Every home has an image of the great leader and every car has a flag. It is extended even further by the 9-18 months of military service for all males.

At the same time corruption is rife. People pay huge taxes and seem to get very little in return. Dodgy police, no health care, little welfare but free education even if you have 50-60 kids in a class.

The same as most places however there are a few people with vast wealth and the majority who have nothing.

Then there are the Kurds. Some people believe that when Saddam gassed the Kurds in Iraq, and Turkey opened its borders to the refugees, that is when the trouble began.

The problem goes further back, to when the new republic banned their language, dress and culture. This continues today. On the up side, the first Kurdish radio station was opened earlier this year.

The military still has a strong presence in the Kurdish east and when my students are asked about the situation the unanimous reply is: we are right and they are wrong.

Personally, I see the way forward as relinquishing of nationalism on both sides and the government working to improve the quality of life for all its citizens. While the Kurds attack Turks and vice versa, I cannot see this happening.

The political situation today is that the President Sezer is a popular, secular leader and Erodgan is the less popular but economically successful Islamist Prime Minister.

Soon the President must step down and Erodgan is looking ready to take his spot. In this case you would have an Islamist party in both the House of Representatives and executive where they might start making changes that the military and the majority won’t like. A coup seems likely if this happens.

This will also set back the countries planned addition to the European Union which has been on the cards for a long time, but don’t hold your breath for that one. Most people do not think it is a good idea. Why should this Muslim country join a Christian club?

Photo from The Economist

Lifestyle

Meanwhile life continues as normal for most people in the city, which was the capital for five empires. People seem to work very long hours but not all that hard (from what I can see) for very little money. The rubbish piles up on the streets and people sit down every night in front of the cheapest and most popular entertainment – TV. Turkish TV is a novel in itself.

“Every man must have a gun, a wife and horse” or so the saying goes. This seems to be true. Gun ownership is very high. They are cheap and easy to get (a reason I never wanted to argue with anyone). Getting married seems a very popular life-choice and divorce is fairly common. The horse today seems to have been replaced with the car. In a city of 15 million people it is a dangerous combination when mixed with 1500-year-old roads, passionate personalities and handgun ownership.

My parting thought is to go. Don’t take my word for it; discover it for yourself. It is an amazing country with a rich history and good food. You will not be disappointed.

Photo from Mark

Istanbul Xmas Trees

Can someone tell me what this is all about?

These things seem to be sprouting from the ground all over the place.

I have asked my students, but despite not being able to give me an accurate definition of what xmas is, they affirm that these are "new years trees". They put presents under them which they exchange at the turn of the year.

Now I lived in Thailand, where they seemed to celebrate this christian rip-off of the pagan winter holiday with more gusto and less understanding but here the practice of putting up trees with festive decorations seems far more virulent here.

It may be left over from the previous christan inhabitants of this much fought over piece of land. That was a thousand years ago however,and they lost.

Most of my students have said that it was common in their childhood and were quite surprised when told it was a practice significant to many christian sects.

Who knows? Any input would be appreciated.

Photos taken at EF Levent.

Party Away!

Just a short note, as I am feeling a bit rough, to all those who made our Going Away Bash, so memorable.

They say a picture tells a thousand words, so I will let the pictures do the talking - go to the "My Photos" link.

We will miss you all, but it is a small world, and we will meet again!

Stay in touch.

Take it easy.

Spin

Last week I was walking home from work, about two in the afternoon, tired and looking for a couple hours kip before going back for the evening shift.

I came out of the Metro station and made my way towards Istaklal but there was a crowd blocking my way - all looking towards the Ataturk statue.

Maybe it was some sort of homage to the great leader, so I joined the gawkers. There were police and a number of camera crews.

All were looking at a bloke in his late forties maybe, standing at the base of the monument, holding what looked like a 9mm hand gun to his head.

I stopped and stared for a while, transfixed - not something you see everyday. I was riveted with some sort of weird primeval desire to see what would happen next - the possibility of a kill. there might have been three or four hundred people watching; who knows how many at home.

After thinking for a few minutes - there was one of two options: he pulled the trigger, spraying his brains like an over-ripe watermelon; or the cops shoot him.

I felt sick and turned away, to disappear into the crowd, listening for the bang. Soon however, the possibility of hearing it was drowned in the throng of the metropolis.

There was nothing in the news that I saw.

Lets Talk Turkey

Courtesy of www.bbc.co.uk

Sheker Byram
(Sugar Holiday)

Cappadocia

"The name “Cappadocia” dates back to Persian times, when the region was called as “katpatukya” meaning “Land of beautiful horses”. Since that time Cappadocia has seen the rise and fall of many different civilizations. It is a land of vast plains, rolling hills, rugged mountains and extinct volcanoes. It is a veritable treasury of historical relics from the Chalcolithic era to the Seljuk Turks period.

In recent times, Cappadocia is best known for its unique landscape of valleys and rock formations, known as fairy chimneys. The formation of the this strange landscape began during the third geological period, when three volcanoes on the edges of this region began erupting frequently. The deposits of volcanoes ash, lava and basalt laid the foundations for today's landscape. Earthquakes and ongoing effects of erosion formed the valleys and fairy chimneys that can be seen today.

As the rock below the top layer of basalt is extremely soft, it can be easily carved. Communities took advantage of this to make their home in the rock pillars and under the ground. Today, examples of homes, churches and whole cities abound in Cappadocia. "

Adapted from: http://www.ezairballoons.com/cappadocia.html

On Wednesday evening we edged back into the massive metropolis along with the rest of the holiday traffic.

As we pushed toward the centre, the intensity increased - the people, the noise, the music, the sirens; until we were in the heart of the vortex.

The closer we got, the more I felt the relaxation slipping away and the tension return. Its claws creeping up my spine like some dark yet invisible beast.
We were home.

It all began on Saturday morning. We rose before the sun and met the rest of our party - Claire and Seb. We piled ourselves and bags into the 1991 Rover Montago station wagon (a British right hand drive) and got a jump start on the rest of the city for the mass exsodus.

We did pretty well. Istanbul petered out into suburbs, then industrial estates and eventually gave way to grass, cows and trees. There was one hold up at Bolu due to an accident but the journey was made all the swifter by all the toll booths (of which there are many) being closed. This made it considerabley cheaper and quicker.

I wonder where else in the world you would get the road tolls closed down for a public holiday?

By lunch we had passed the massive round about that is Ankara - Turkey's capital for those who don't know. We had not desire to stop there.

I took up the wheel, my first time driving on the wrong side, the right side, of the road. I think I did pretty well, it's like driving in the fast lane all the time. It gets a bit confusing when you have to turn however. The less said about Turkish driving the better.

By nightfall we were almost there. A short cut between highways was meant to save time but instead gave us a veiw into the country's rural life - geese, donkeys and mud brick houses.

It was good to arrive in Goreme in darkness. The tall narrow rocks, lit from the inside gave the place a surreal quality that was carried through to the daylight and the rest of our trip.

We checked into a cave room, had dinner on the strip and crashed.

Sunday

The alarm was set for the latest oppertunity for us to get the breakfast included in the price of the room / cave. I peeked out the window. Wow!

There is no point me describing it, that is why I have a camera. Just check out the photos page.

In the morning we wandered out to the Open Air Museum. This area has been sealed off as it has the most amazing caves and dug out churches in the area with some well preserved frescos on the insides.

After lunch we decided to head off the track and go overland to Goreme via Love Valley. This area gets its name from the phallic rock formations.

We made it down the hill and back up the other side with a lot of clambering up ridges. There were a couple of time we almost lost grip and slide down, but eventually we made it to the top.

The top turned out to be right above our cave room and gave a spectacular view of the valley. It also turned out to be right next to a terrace bar where we could enjoy a cold beer and watch the sunset after the afternoons exertions.

That night we ate at Goreme Restaurant. Although unimaginitively named, it was great. Ottoman style cushions on the floor around low tables facing an elderly musican who played all evening on different instruments. The food, wine and ambiance were all superlative.

Monday

First stop Uchisar, the highest point in the region and thus a castle. We wandered up and got a spectacular view of the whole area. Very impressive.

From there we headed down the motorway to Derinkuyu and the largest of the many underground cities in the area. These were built as refuge from barbarian hordes who would come to rape and pilliage.

My knees took a battering as I crouch walked down the low-ceilinged passages. Vast chambers, whole churches and cripts are burried deep within the ground. Who knows how many months the whole city waited for the peril to pass. Better than being slaughtered I suppose, but not much.

From there it was cross country to Urgup and the wineries. We took the back roads and got a taste of contempory rural life. Mud brick houses with satellite dishes, donkey carts and mopeds, boys in tired looking suits; men in even more tired looking suits.

We finally made it to Urgup to find a modern tourist metropolis. Turasan, the winery, was notable for the great line of tour buses parked out the front. The place was a mad house, we did not stay long.

Instead we headed back to Uchisar and enjoyed the peace, quiet and hospitality of Kocabaa winery - we bought a lot more wine from them.

That night we signed up for the "Turkish Nights Show". This peice of touristy kitch is something that I would scoff at back home in Istanbul, but seens as we were on holiday and no one I knew would be there, Why not?

Meal, drink and entertainment included. The meal was hideous, the drink was bearable and the entertainment was... interesting.

It started badly with an interpretation of the Whirling Dervishes. Agreed there were men in dresses spinning around but that was the only apprent similarity to the Mevlevi Order.

From there it improved sightly. There were folk singers and folk dancers with a small band and they manage to pump out three hours of entertainment for the whole family.

The whole family was there too, enjoying the end of Ramazan and getting on the booze. The Turkish girls got up and gave the professionals a run for there money.

Eventually there was the belly dancer. I never really think of belly dancers as being blonde, this one was the exception.

You would never guess who was called up to make a fool of himself...
(video available on request)

It was an entertaining evening none the less.

Tuesday

A late start. Too much cheap wine.
We wondered into town and did some shopping.
In the afternoon we thought it might be nice to take the bus out to Uchisar and walk back to Goreme.

We thought we might start at Pidgeon Valley. Here they put in dovecotes and decorated them. They used the dung for building.

It was great weather and we had found a track along the valley floor than was lush and green with a river running though, autumnal leaves and bursting with life.

For a good 45 minutes we enjoyed the sedate path through the trees until all of a sudden the land dropped about 100 metres. An old, hermit man sat and smoked in his camp on the other side.

We smiled, said hello and walked around to the other side and continued down the path. Within 50 metres the path seemed impassable, clinging to the side of the hill with a steep drop on one side. Bugger that.

Another hiker came along and joined the end of our party - Ruben from Mexico.

We went back to ask the old man if he knew a safer route. He did and the five of us followed, up the track and along until we came to a steep section of white crumbley rock. Luckily there were footholds, although they were barely noticeable.

The old man went first, managing the path he knew well with ease. Claire and Seb followed. From Claire's expression when she got to the top, I realised that this was not going to be easy.
"What the hell are we going here?" I think were the words used.
The old man guided her across the top of the ridge.

A couple of times on the way up I thought I was going to slip back down the slope. When I reached the top, I realised what all the fuss was about. The path was about ten metres long but only about six inches wide with what seemed like a couple of hundred metres drop on either side.

This is not my element. I belly crawled across and we all made it to the other side. Shaken not stired. We slipped the old man a few Lyra and he bargained for more, this was obviously his living.

Soon we were walking through farm land, the track broadened and we were back among the pansiyons and cafes of Goreme. We went and had a beer and relived our adventures across the abyss with the new addition to our party.

The next day we piled into the station wagon and headed back to the Big Smoke.

Gypsy Festival

In the News

Turkey has hit the international headlines for two reasons this week.

Nobel Pamuk

Firstly, Orhan Pamuk won the Nobel Prize for Literature. This is great new for a country who is, as Mehmet Alis Birand of the Turkish Daily News put it: "a nation proud of its tradition of not reading books".

I did start reading one of his books "Snow" but less than half way through I had to stop reading for health reasons. It was so depressing, it might have forced me to top myself.

Some Turks are not all that proud of Pamuk however, considering his public comments regarding the Armenian Genocide. Namely that it happened.

Notably people took offence to him saying one million Armenians and 30 000 Kurds were killed.

For saying this he was charged late last year under Article 301 which make is an offence to "insult Turkishness". Hmmm.

Freedom of Speech

Which brings us to the other headline hitting news item: France passes a bill which makes it a crime to deny the Armenian Genocide. This has sparked some fierce reactions from the Turks.

Most signifcant for me was walking down our street to see bus loads of armed police in riot gear, dogs, tear gas launchers and AK47 assault rifles protecting the French consulate from protestors.

From what I have read, it seems allot of Armenians were killed, that is pretty hard to deny. Anyone who does deny this you can rightfully call ignorant or a fool. Why therefore, you need to pass a law making it a crime to deny something that is obvious seems a little pointless, not to mention being a blight to the freedom of speech.

For example, I cannot defend the views of the Pauline Hansons or David Irvings of the world, but I will defend their right to say it. Anyone who takes them seriously is as stupid as they are.

Anyway, the larger implications of the French law is that it drives a deeper wedge between Europe and Turkey making a Turkish addition to the EU an increasingly unlikely situation in the foreseeable future.

Photos thanks to:

Turkish Daily News

OrhanPamuk.net

Wikipedia.com

Yesterday we visited the Istanbul Museum of Modern Art. Most of it was very modern. Not always my cup of tea, but some interesting works none the less.

The "Modern" feel is accentuated by the gallery being located by the old docks on the Bospherous, among the warehouses and having to walk through a car park to get to it.

There was a photo exhibition from a Turkish Journalist who was every where from: Cuba during the Missile crisis through to the Israeli Hostage Crisis at the '72 West Berlin Olympics.

Shown is a painting by Princess Fahrelnissa Zeid, who had a large section of the gallery devoted to her. It does not get more abstract than this.

Well worth a visit if you are ever in town.

Ramazan

In Turkey, or as you may know it in the West: Ramadan, is the holiest month in the Islamic calender. For the devout, nothing shall pass their lips during the hours of daylight. Restaurants however, are still open for business, doing great trade at about 19:07 everyday for Iftar - the breaking of the fast.

The streets seems a little less crowded and people a little more subdued.

About half of my students are fasting. This only seems to be a problem for the evening classes between 18:30 and 20:30. The first half of the lesson they cannot seem to concentrate and the second half, after Iftar, they just seem to want to go to sleep.

You would think that a holiday of solemn abstinence would be hard to commercialize. This is not the case, as you can see from the advertisement to the left from Migros, the Tescos of Turkey. They offer special "Iftar Packs" with everything you need for the breaking of your fast.

The bonus of all this will be at the end of Ramazan when we have the Sheker Bayram or Sugar Holiday, a five day public holiday when people visit their families and feast.

We however, plan to head to out of town for a short holiday to Cappadocia. I will keep you posted on that one.

Happy fasting!!

Keith Gets Head!!

For his final meal in Istanbul, our good friend, part-time colleague and full-time joker, Keith chose to have a sheep's head.



This is apparently a Turkish delicacy, although I have not really seen it offered in too many places. Maybe around the the time of the Kurban Byram they might be more common.



Kurban Byram mean "sacrifice holiday". Here in Turkey it is a sheep that gets sacrificed. This does not sit well with the EU. The idea is, I am told, carried over from ancient times. Your family kill a sheep and share it with everyone, especially the poor. However, slaughtering livestock in your home or the streets does not seem to be a "Shared European Value".



In his opinion: the pupils were nice, the jaw flesh was like shoulder flesh, the rest of the eye ball "minged", the brain was a bit gooshy and the tongue... he didn't even go there.



Fare ye well Keether, I am sure that you will make a great carpenter or at least, better than you were a teacher!



Take it easy.

Coup!!

Some of you may have noticed that our old home of Thailand has been taken over by the military.

I have been in touch with friends and associates who are still there who assure me that there is nothing to worry about. Business continues.



Fortunately, this was achieved with the support of The King and therefore the people. In addition it removes Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, who was (in my opinion) working for himself rather than the people.



Unfortunately, it is the first coup in 15 years and it is no way to deal with political issues in a democracy.



Why the opposition boycotted the last election when they had a fine chance to remove him then, I don't know.

Maybe someone could help me with that one.



The military will be appointing a new PM next week and there will be fresh elections in 2007.
Although this is not ideal, I am sure that the issues will be resolved peacefully.


Meanwhile, we watch and wait to see what happens...


Photo: Darren Whiteside of Reuters

Where has The Odyssey been? Unfortunately, due to technical issues, The Odyssey has been off line for the past couple of weeks.

Fortunately, with the help of support from around the world.

We are back up and running.

Special thanks to IT-Helpman

Adnan's Boat

Last night, one of my students, kindly hosted some fellow teachers and myself on his 19m power boat. The night cruise showed the city at its best and included a delightful supper. Rough life, but someone has to do it!

Sorry about the quality of the video but the sea was a little rough.

You can see Rumeli Hisar and the Bospherous Bridge.

Istanbul A- Z

from Ataturk to Zoo

Ataturk: The cult of personality around this man, who modernised the aging empire nearly a hundred years ago, is still strongly felt. There will be no criticism of this man!

Baklava: sugar soaked, layered pastry that will rot the teeth, expand the waist line and is sold by the kilo.

Coffee: Thick, black and toxic if you make the mistake of sipping the dregs.

Dervish: These guys are still spinning despite the religious movement basically being banned in 1922. The tradition has been revived for the tourists, for a small fee of 25 ytl.

Eminonu: this is where all the ferries leave from and also a good place for people watching, tea and a fresh fish sandwich.

Fruit Sellers: These guys are everywhere, pushing their wooden carts and yelling incomprehensibly in the streets. The peaches are great this time of year.

Golden Horn: I shit you not! This is the name of the peninsular on the European side of the city. Home of Topkapi palace and Sultan Ahmet, it is where all the touristy stuff is located.

Headscarves: You look at pictures from the 1950s-60s you will not see one headscarf in Istanbul. Today, it is viewed by some as a type of rebellion against the secular state. You cannot wear a headscarf if you want to go to university or hold a government position.

Intolerence: of traffic, of the weather, of each other. You will see lots of this here.

Jellyfish: schools of the buggers. You will see them everywhere in the Bosphorus, even at the swimming beaches... ioooo

Kurds: I have read that one in three Turks are Kurdish. They are held in pretty low regard by the rest of the population, as the Kurdish Freedom Fighters (or the PKK terrorist, depending on your point of view) keep on blowing up bits of Istanbul.

Limonata: a sort of Turkish lemonade, very refreshing on a summer's day.

Metro: The Istanbul underground - very modern with plenty of glass and marble but only services a small part of the city.

Noses: This is how you can tell if an Istanbulu is from the east of Turkey. They all come from "Nose City" apparently.

Ottoman: The empire that took over eastern Europe, most of the middle east and a bit of North Africa... before they got hammered in World War Part One.

Pazar: The Anglicized version is Bazaar or market. Haggling is a essential part of the experience at the Grand Bazaar. The modern Turk seems to prefer the the massive, brightly lit, crisp, clean, muzak and product placement of the Shopping Mall. These are huge.

Queues: these do not work here. Go to the post office. Take ticket and then use your elbows to barge through to the front of the line.

Radio: There is about a million different radio stations in this town. You can have the latest selection of American chart music, Turkish pop and some good alternative stations as well. No BBC though damn it!

Simit: Those bread rings a bit like the German Breadzils, that are sold everywhere and make a filling, yet a little bland and carb enriched, fifty Kroosh breakfast.

Taxis: These guys can be annoying. "Baltilimani?" "No! Traffic! Problem!" Call yourself a bloody taxi driver... where is Robert De Nero when you need him.

Ulker: Turkish Nestle. Just as omnipresent but maybe not as evil.... maybe...

Very expensive Vhisky: There is no W in Turkish but there is Vhisky. Due to heavy taxes on every type of liquor other than the native raki, it is very expensive.

Water: Is what most people they say they like about Istanbul. The Bospherous is very beautiful, especially at night when your vision is impaired.

Xenophonbia:"The strong and unreasonable dislike or fear of people from other countries" from Collins Cobuild English Dictionary. Comments from students:"English and German peoples are cold" or "All black people are thieves and drug dealers." This might not be true of all Turks, but these beliefs are common among people I speak to. If not the dislike of other cultures, the strong and unreasonable belief in the superiority of theirs. Comments from students: "Turkey is the best country!" "What other countries have you been to?" "None, this is the best!"

Young: Due to the Turkish tradition of getting married and having lots of babies at an early age, the Turkish population is generally is very young, very poor and very illiterate (by Western standards).

Zoo: There is no zoo in Istanbul, unless you count the human zoo that some consider this city to be. There are many different species trapped here against their will. At least in a zoo they would get fed regularly.

More

Attack of the Killer Turtle

This really cracked me up!

Attack of the Killer Turtle

Walking to work this morning, I said "Is that a Turtle?", looking down an alley around an apartment building. On investigation, the little bugger attacked me with speed and agression that is rarely found in highly trained attack dogs.

Scary or Funny

I would not give this guy the remote control for the tellie, let alone the nukes.

You decide.

Enjoy



>

Political Zing

Came across this video blog by chance.

Worth a look of you have a minute.

Enjoy

Taksim

View from the top of a building, looking up to Taksim Square and down to Istaklal.

Merchants of Cool

This is a really good doco I saw a couple of years ago.

I think I have a copy of it on VHS somewhere. Now you can just watch it on the net.

It is really worth a watch if you have time and a fast connection.

Catch it, before it's no longer cool.

"They spend their days sifting through reams of market research data. They conduct endless surveys and focus groups. They comb the streets, the schools, and the malls, hot on the trail of the "next big thing" that will snare the attention of their prey--a market segment worth an estimated $150 billion a year. "

-PBS.org

Proposal

OMG!!

My sister is getting married.

Spread the news.

Joanna Watkins-Mark Wood

2007

Observations

One thing I find interesting, is shops playing songs, with lyrics that would get a "Parental Advisory Warning".

You will be walking around a supermarket and notice a little old headscarf woman comparing the price of tinned vegetables while dulcet tones are advising to:

"smack my bitch up"

Or wandering down Istaklal past shops where teenage girls compare the latest fashions, with blaring soundsystems that croon:

"I wanna drug that's gonna,
make my dick shrink,
my brain melt,
and my heart beat like a drum,
can I get some,
can I get some,
Cocaine!"

Just interesting.

Catstantinople

One thing I have noticed about Istanbul, compared to other metropolis, is the lack of rats and cockroaches.

Sydney is awash with an army of 'roches ready to blitzkrieg your kitchen as soon as the lights go out. I have seen rats in London that could make off with a small child.

Why the lack of pests here?

There is one answer I can think of:

Cats

A phalanx of cats.

Fluffy, mangy, skinny, scruffy, scraggy, sickly, scrawny, decrepit, ragtag, indigent, gaunt, lanky, weedy, pussies, moggies, kitties, tabbies and tomcats.

As Bangkok streets are ruled by dogs, it is the cats who control Istanbul.

They are everywhere, slinking across roofs, sunning themselves on sidewalks, furtively eyeing fish stands, rummaging in rubbish, lounging in book store windows, wandering past waiters and waiting expectantly outside people's front doors.

In the spring the streets were awash with kittens. They were everywhere, very cute until you see a few by the side of the road that didn't make it.

One student explained the reason. The Quran says that it is fine to feed animals outside your home but not inside.

Some houses have a little feeder and a bowl of water by their door's for their feline friends.

Some people are not as friendly, especially restauranteurs, who fear this business's reputation. They are the first to shoo the intruders.

I have even seen people in the streets or in cafes trying to scare them off. A begging cat can really disturb you meal.

As a result, they tend to be wild and not all that trusting of their human patrons.

When I leave our building of a morning, it is common to see at least half a dozen hanging around. The smell of amonia (or cats piss) is pervasive.

Thanks to the chosen method of rubbish collection in this city ie. dumping it in the street, means that there is a smorgasboard of dining options for them.

One overly friendly old girl wandered into our flat one evening and make herself at home on my clothes in my wardrobe, only leaving to loudly demand food when ever someone went into the kitchen.

We eventually tricked her outside. We don't have any cat food anyway.

If I have a choice I would definitely prefer cats over other vermin, even if they do get to plague numbers at some times.

Middle-East

A cease fire.
This is good news.

From last week:

It has been three weeks since the beginning of hostilities between Turkey's neighbor's to the east.
I cannot really tell you much, except to tell you what has been going on here.

The Turkish government supports the idea of peace, but appears to be doing very little to achieve this aim, as far as I can tell from reading the papers.

There has been many anti-Israel/US protests. The government is a conservative, Islamic party, which is a reformed version of an even more conservative Islamic party after the last coup.

Turkish Politics

All the parties have only been around since the last coup in 1980.

I taught Cengiz, a columnist for Hurriyet, the "best" newspaper in the country (it still features nearly naked women on the back page... both the media magnates here seem to follow Murdoch's line of "you can't sell a paper without tits."). He gave me an insight into Turkish politics.

There are about five or six major parties all holding a relatively significant share of the parliament. Comparing his country to the west he noted that in an established market there were two major players: Coke and Pepsi, McDonald's and Burger King, Phillip Morris (aka Kraft Foods) and British-American Tobaccos etc etc.

Turkey is not an established market.

However, Erdogan has done a pretty good job of bringing the country up to date.

This is an aside.

Peaceful Protest or Riot

It was good to see some good, old fashioned protesting in Perth when I logged onto the ABC website recently.

Shortly after that some of my colleagues told me about a protest that they happened to witness on Istaklal Street, not far from my flat.

The peaceful protest moved from Taksim to Tunel, drawing attention to their opinion of the behaviour of Israel and the apparent American complicity.

The large group of people were met by a body of police in full riot gear. Without warning the police fired a hail of tear and got busy with the large sticks, to disperse the crowd.

This was outside the school's branch in Taksim. A student opened a window on the fifth floor and was apparently floored by the fumes.

I saw pictures on the local news. The coppers did not seem to be holding back.

However, search as I may the next day, I could not find a single reference to the incident in any English language newspaper or website.

If you find anything about this, please let me know.

Something to think about for the next protest you complain that they are suppressing your "right to protest" (incidentally, if you can find any reference to "rights" in the Australian constitution, I would like to hear about that too).

There are more protests scheduled. There seem to be movements here that are very pro-militant -Islam.

Incidentally, insulting "Turkishness" is against the law in this country.

I will let you know I offend anybody and I am kicked out.

Opinions:

Shortly after I returned from holiday, and heard the news I got in touch with an Israeli friend who I met while traveling around Australia.

He said that this is the first time, in a long time, that the Israeli people (himself included) felt absolutely "just" in their actions.

This conflict, he told me, had been on the cards for quite some time and the kiddnapping of the soldiers was just an excuse to get to work.

Only only hope he is not called to the front, to test his beliefs.

He and a friend also set up a "peace stall" in a local shopping mall near his home in the south.

He said that someone hit him in the head and that this was not surprising: "we are at war".

Six Degrees

I have a cousin who married a Lebanese guy.

Hi, to Kate and Paul.

I now have two little Irish-Lebanese-Australian second cousins.

Shout outs to Liam and Abigail too.

Paul's family is safely in the mountains, but his uncle works at the only harbour still running in Lebanon. I hope for his safety.

Personally, I am tending to agree with a wise man, who said: I think the Americans should stop giving weapons to the Israelis and the Iranians should stop giving weapons to Hezbollah.

It is also interesting that America delivers aid to Lebanon and bombs to Israel at the same time. I am not sure how that is justified.

Final Word

I do not see any winners here.

The real losers are, and will be for years to come, the Lebanese people, who have not asked for this.

If I was voting, I am not sure I would give Hezbollah any power.

How did they run for parliament anyway - not sure how I feel about letting internationally recognised terrorist organisations run for seats in parliament.

One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

A soldier is a terrorist in a uniform.

Even more Photos

Kekova

Inside Pirates

More Ruins at the Sunken City

More Photos from the Holiday

Efes

The Library

Theatre View

From the Gallery for the blind

Viddyblog Into

My first viddy blog, lets see if this works

Viddyblog

It is a bit dodgy, but give it a bash.

http://www.yourfilehost.com/media.php?cat=video&file=MOV01720.MPG

Hopefully, more to come.

Enjoy.

DEAR READER

What follows is an account of our holiday
from Antalya to Izmir
Along the Mediterranean Coast
over a week at the beginning of July, 2006.

It will probably bore you to death
but it is better than those giant, soul-less mass emails
that no one ever reads.

My advice:
Is to start at the end and read up
as it is at reverse order
one at the bottom and eight at the top

Cheers
Al

EPILOGUE

We arrived home.
Slept for hours.

The next day we woke to washing, domestics, banality,
And a new housemate, Quintin having left for a months holiday in Spain.

James took over his room.
It seems to be working out just fine.

I check the internet.

"MID-EAST EXPLODES"

Reads the headlines.

Ahh that was the tanks we saw.
I check the news everyday,
the moments my back turns,
the fighting starts.

More on that later.

Hope you enjoyed the story.
If you want more information,
feel free to get in touch.

Thanks
Al

DAY EIGHT

Efes

The bus dropped us off at the front entrance.
We bought tickets and bustled through the tourists to get in.

This place is seriously amazing.

One of the wonders of the ancient world
It is really beyond words

believe it or not

So I will let the photos do the talking.

Serince
(pron: sher-in-jay)

In the afternoon we took a local bus up to this litte Greek villiage
Famed for it's fruit wine.

In the 1920's when Turkey was created,
all the Turks were kicked out of Greece,
and all the Greeks were kicked out of Turkey.

No one remembered to tell these guys.
Now their decendants are still there in this little white washed village.

We wandered around, bought some wine, had some lunch
and spent the afternoon drinking an interesting bottle of melon wine in a cafe overlooking the valley, nice.

In one on the shops an old TV showed images of tanks and desert.
I wander where that is?
but we paid little attention.

And that was pretty much it.

We got a bus down the hill,
picked up our bags... again,
Took a bus to Izmir,
They dropped us at the airport,
we boarded a plane,
landed at Ataturk,
hopped on a bus,

and we were back

into the traffic,
the smog,
the beggars,
the sellers,
and the vibe,

of Taksim.

THE END

DAY SEVEN

Izmir

We arrived, shocked
into the pre dawn light at Izmir bus station.

After a couple of cups of tea
we found the bus to Selchuk near the ancient city of Ephesus (Efes)

We spent an hour on another bus
at Selchuk we had the standard harassment

However, we already had an arrangement.
They came and picked us up.


Atilla's Getaway
as recommended to us

It was nice
Too many damn Australians though.
It had a good view out over the valley.

It is run by an Australian Turkish family
Atilla is there with his Thai wife.

Sawadee Krap!
Sabai dee mai?
Baan ti ni?

She was from Pattiya.

I see, awfully broad shoulders on that girl.

Who knows?

She always wanted to get out of Thailand
now she cannot wait to get back.

"It is not the same."

We slept for hours
got up, swam, relaxed and even had a yellow curry for dinner.
It was not the same.

We got an early night for a big one the next day.


Photo: thanks to Atilla

DAY SIX
Kekova Tour

Instead of diving
we decided to take tour of the area

We went around and looked at the deals
in the end, we just chose one.

Depart at ten
On the boat at 10.30

First stop
Aquarium Bay for some swimming
With a pair of goggles, I was able to see everything that we saw diving

The next island stop was Shipyard Bay
thus called as it was a shipyard for:
The Lycians, the Byzantines, the Romans etc etc.
Once again, lots of ruins.

On the way out we went past the Sunken City
The ruins of a Lycian city that had fallen into the ocean.

Unfortunately you cannot swim or dive on it
but it was good to cruise past and see the remains.
In the pictures you can see old vases and jugs
Pretty amazing.

I wonder whether future civilizations
will look in wonder at our kola cans and ciggie packets
Is that how we shall be remembered?
I hope not.

We stopped at another quiet bay for lunch.
Five veggie dishes and kofte
cooked by the captains mother

Next was Pirates Cave
not sure what the pirates were doing there
but it was a nice place to do it anyway.
The water colour was brilliant.

Next it was over to Kekova proper
It is an old town that is heritage listed
No one can build there
so people still live in the ancient houses
mainly selling carpets, herbs and trinkets to the tourists

No one can build there
expect a Mr Koch
The richest man in Turkey
He has a nice villa over looking the islands

On top of the hill is a castle
it has a superlative veiw of the area

On the ramparts you can see the alterations
made by the different empires that controlled it

On the land side you can see the Lycian tombs
They all have what looks like upside down boats on top.

The coean was important to them
Death was on par with the sinking of a ship.

They all have holes in the sides
where they have been pilliaged.

We didn't get back until seven
pretty good day out for the price

Night Bus

Just enough time to pick up the bags
and head off for the night bus

Now, I have had my fill of over night buses
but with the lack of time, it had to be.

This time I was prepared
We feed, comfortable clothes, water, snacks
and the essential bottle of red wine.

First from Kas to Fethiye - 2100-2300
Then to Izmir - 0000-0700

Managed to get some zees
but it made for a very sore neck the next day

MORE DIVING PHOTOS

All stuff to be seen in Kas

Those funky starfish

Love these little corrals

Saw a sea turtle, unfortunately only from the boat

There were a few of these little beauties too

DAY FIVE
"Underwater Live"

Up early
down to the harbour
onto the boat

Nice boat
Good gear

Hang on...
everything is in German
everyone is German

Oh, well
Our divemaster Tomas
had a pretty good command
and they were pretty small groups

Off for the first dive

Just off an island reef

There were lots of fish
not nearly as colourful
or prolific as Australia or Thailand

And the coral left allot to be desired
but it was good to be underwater again
That weird feeling of breathing underwater
along with being weightless
A thrill

There were lots of little things to see:
Star fish, sea catapillars, sea slugs
a few colourful ones

There were some nice spiral corrals too
that would shoot back into their tube
when you went by, that is pretty cool.

After an hour in the water
always not enough
we headed up

Back on land we had time for a big lunch
and a good solid nap before...

Dive Two

The Mavi wreck
Its was a really nice old wooden wreck
until some bugger pulled an anchor through it
and it was a complete wreck

There were allot of shit in it though
and a perfect porcelain toilet
Nice

The local companies got together
and decided to wreck another boat
to give them something to look at

This they did the week before
we had a look
not many fish
eerie though
to see a gutted boat down there

In the end

We decided not to have another
expensive days diving
but to hang around Kas
as there were other interesting things to see...

Photos courtesy of Kas Diving and the BBC

STOP THE PRESS!!

Some the photos did not get uploaded
Damn Blogger!!

Here is what you missed:

Antalya Hills and Houses

from the bus

The Ruins of the Roman Baths

at Olympos

Thank-you

please continue

DAY FOUR
On the Road Again

Get up
Eat
Check out

Bus out of the valley
Farewell sweet Olympos
Till next we meet.

The Road to Kas
(pron: Karsh)

Twists and turns
hugging the coast

Red-organge rock
Endless shades of green
harsh, rugged short vegitation
Endless ocean, shades of blue

A beach at every bend
Filled with locals, cooling.

Reminded me allot of a cross between:
The Great Ocean Road, Vic. and
The Nullabour Plane, SA.

Similar climate and plants

At this speed however,
with these drivers
it is best not to look out the window

Santosa Paniyon

This one was recomended at Orange
Most likely a relative of the bloke we asked.

It was allot more of the traditional style
Someones house with many rooms

We called at the bus station
A friend came and picked us up

The husband was away
The wife was pregnant

Comfortable enough
hard beds
and harder pillows

The Search

We immediately set about trying to find a decent dive company
Everyone I had spoken to had recommended this as the best spot in Turkey for diving

We called around.
They all seemed pretty much the same
and settled on:

Kas Diving

We went down to check them out
They seemed like nice people
Germans... all Germans

But nice ones
They even invited us to watch the World Cup Final with them
The real one this time

We agreed and went for a nap
Watched the World Cup
Man that just kept on giving
France should have won

Then headed off for an early night

DAY THREE

Another late start.

Walked into town.

Looked for a phone card, it was my brother's birthday.... 36.

Couldn't find a phone that worked.

Had a nice trout. 7 YTL... Bargain!

Caught some more beach time.

Caught up with Keith, watched the World Cup.

Thought it was the final but was the third place runners up match.

Then continued drinking, played some poker and drank allot of fine.

Got ready for the change of scene on day four.

DAY TWO

Got up around noon
missed breakfast
moved straight onto lunch

rolled into a restaurant
reclined in an Ottoman style lounge
all carpets and cushion

had an old woman next to a wood fire
make us goozleme
pancakes filled with cheese, fetta, spinach or potatoes
and bring coffee and tea

mmm this is living


Eventually
we pushed off
for a roll around the ruins

By definition
they are not in very good condition

You can feel the history of the place though
why anyone would want to settle here

in the shade
cool river flowing past
lap of the ocean never far from your ear

And look
an old relic
the rear...
coke can
oh, and a marlboro packet

The Greek temple was cool
made less so by the giant group of tourist
there when we arrived

Just like any traffic
you just have wait for it to pass

One group of German posed for a photo
in the Speedos
one large gentleman in the front row
had his legs spread a little too far

The local photo lab will have a laugh
when they return this guys photos
with on great hairy white bollock hanging out of his cod piece

Would love to bring you the photo
I was too shocked to move however

The rest of the day was spent floating

After dinner we had a few drinks and hit "the" nightclup
It reminded me of Ra Lai Beach

Open ceiling
Rustic decor

We got there at ten
we were the only ones
We sat out the front for a beer and a chat

we went back in at about eleven
it was packed

Turkish Men

It should be noted here that Turkey is the home of the peacock male
more than any other place I have been
Turkish males seem to spend a lot of time on their appearance

This is merely an observation
not a criticism

careful attention is paid to hair and clothes

They also dance
sometimes enthusiasm is not matched by talent

but it is definitely amusing to watch

The Mediterranean Odyssey
Or "Scuba, Sunken Cities and Scenic Sights"

DAY ONE

Departure

0400
2hrs sleep
Alarm
Snooze
Alarm
Shower

Blurry eyed blunderings
past nightclups
still pounding
onto the bus

Airport
Security
8YTL coffee
Security

Check in chaos
Turkish style
multiple queues
confused looks
just push forward

Meanwhile,
Ataturk
huge, eerie and golden
looms high on the wall
looking down on us all

Across the tarmac
and onto the plane

0900
we emerge into the heat of Antalya
onto the bus to the otogar
otogar to mini bus

Antalya

We do not stop
It looks like a nice town

Mountains on one side
Sea on the other

Rows of concrete apartment blocks
spoil the view in between

The minibus drops us at the cross roads
and we take another minibus
down the twisting valley road
into...

Olympos

The Lycians used to hang out here
Romans thought it was cool too
They took it over
Several other Empires had the same idea

About five years ago the place was full of hippies
They have been moved on
bad for business
unfortunately

Today it is colonised by tourists
Mostly middle class Turks roughing it
They find it hard to travel internationally
for some reason...

Other ethnic groups include
in order of prevalence
Australians and Kiwis
Germans in Speedos
Oversunned English

We checked into Orange Pansiyon
It was pretty good
It had air con

Setup

Olympos is in a valley
there is one road

on one side are mountains
on the other there is a river
dry this time of year
and mountains

Along the road are pansiyon
or guest houses

many of them offer tree houses
most of these qualify as they are made of trees

At the end of the road there is a man in a box
beyond that are ancient ruins
beyond theses there is the beach

You must give the man in the box
two lyria or he will not let you through

Pay to go the beach
Well, as more of what is public
is sold
this is something that we should get used to

The Beach

There is no shade
It is covered in baking tourists
who later complain about sunburn
Don't get me started

It goes for miles
with rocks

This might be alright for the English
but I am used to pristine fine white sandy beaches

On the plus side
The is ocean
as far as the eye can see

And it is wet and cool and salty and floaty
and man, do I miss the ocean
And there are lots of fish

Chimera

The Chimera was this weird fire breathing horse goat lion thing
He used to pop up whenever there was a storm coming
or anything nasty generally

Luckily
This hero dude Ellerophone,
with the help of the winged horse Pegasus
managed to slay the bugger

Where he fell
There are flames shooting out of the ground

That is what the Greeks reckoned anyway
Homer talks about it in the Illiad, I think
Sailors used to naviagte by it

Those Greek have shot through
but the flames are still shooting from the ground

We took a bus up there in the middle of the night to check it out
It is pretty trippy

Modern science type persons
think that they are methane vents
they still can't explain why you can put them out
and they will just set right back on fire

It like the weird beast idea thing myself

It is also where they got the flame for the olympic torch
and still do

Worth a look if you are in the area

When we got back after one
we slept for about twelve hours

Bitch of the day

I haven't been paid!!
There is no excuse for this.

Not sure if I can recommend this school to other people.
We will see

Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

The"Dream Factory" replicates itsÂ’ formula all over the world.
The differences are subtle, but noticeable in this cultural experience that has been enjoyed around the world for nearly a century.

Walking into the Multiplex on Istaklal, you could be anywhere in the world.
Dark tones juxtaposed by bright lights and brighter movie posters.
Extortionate prices for stale popcorn and sugar water.
The only difference here is the metal detector and guard. They detect nothing.

Movies are available with the original soundtrack with Turkish subtitles or dubbed into Turkish.
Luckily, the show we want is in original soundtrack.
“Where would you like to sit?”
The obvious answer is: in a chair.
(The last time we went during the Istanbul Film Festival and the irate usher could not find our seatÂ… we sat in the aisle.)
Looking down at the computerised seating plan, we chose two seats in the middle.

“Up the stairs on your left.”
Up we go.

An adolescent usher ignores us.
We find the spaces reserved for us and sit.
Ads. The same everywhere.

They obviously have not sold enough sugar water.
Another young attendant pushes a trolley up the aisles looking for more sales, yelling at the top of his voice.
This seems a national pastime.

The curtains part further.
The performance begins.

We watch.

Damn subtitles.
The French and Italian are in Turkish.
I am sure IÂ’m not missing much.

Half way through, the screen goes blank.
Has the projectionist fallen asleep at the wheel (or reel).
The trolley boy returns, people stand.

Ahh, intermission.
More opportunities to buy drinks.

In the lobby people smoke.
You have to love that.
Tobacco addiction is so strong here, it seems people cannot go ninety minutes without a hit.

Two Winston Lights later, the movie resumes.

At the end people shuffle out, blurry eyed into the afternoon light, eager to discuss the cinematic experience and abate their nico-cravings, as do we.

THE END

Oh yesÂ… the film.
As much as I expected: beginning, middle and end.
Pretty much the same as the book, pulp fiction with a bit of historical guff and conspiracy theory, nothing that you will not have come across before, if you were interested in finding out.
Tom Hanks played Tom Hanks, he is good at that. Luckily the character was basically Tom Hanks.
Sophie could have been hotter.
Not as much sexual tension as in the book.

I am sure that no one will have their faith tested by seeing this film.
If so, they had a pretty weak grasp on their illusion to begin with.
If the rabid, bible bashing, Christian right and god botherers take offence and start burning books, it shows the nature of their sanctimonious and close minded.