Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

The"Dream Factory" replicates itsÂ’ formula all over the world.
The differences are subtle, but noticeable in this cultural experience that has been enjoyed around the world for nearly a century.

Walking into the Multiplex on Istaklal, you could be anywhere in the world.
Dark tones juxtaposed by bright lights and brighter movie posters.
Extortionate prices for stale popcorn and sugar water.
The only difference here is the metal detector and guard. They detect nothing.

Movies are available with the original soundtrack with Turkish subtitles or dubbed into Turkish.
Luckily, the show we want is in original soundtrack.
“Where would you like to sit?”
The obvious answer is: in a chair.
(The last time we went during the Istanbul Film Festival and the irate usher could not find our seatÂ… we sat in the aisle.)
Looking down at the computerised seating plan, we chose two seats in the middle.

“Up the stairs on your left.”
Up we go.

An adolescent usher ignores us.
We find the spaces reserved for us and sit.
Ads. The same everywhere.

They obviously have not sold enough sugar water.
Another young attendant pushes a trolley up the aisles looking for more sales, yelling at the top of his voice.
This seems a national pastime.

The curtains part further.
The performance begins.

We watch.

Damn subtitles.
The French and Italian are in Turkish.
I am sure IÂ’m not missing much.

Half way through, the screen goes blank.
Has the projectionist fallen asleep at the wheel (or reel).
The trolley boy returns, people stand.

Ahh, intermission.
More opportunities to buy drinks.

In the lobby people smoke.
You have to love that.
Tobacco addiction is so strong here, it seems people cannot go ninety minutes without a hit.

Two Winston Lights later, the movie resumes.

At the end people shuffle out, blurry eyed into the afternoon light, eager to discuss the cinematic experience and abate their nico-cravings, as do we.

THE END

Oh yesÂ… the film.
As much as I expected: beginning, middle and end.
Pretty much the same as the book, pulp fiction with a bit of historical guff and conspiracy theory, nothing that you will not have come across before, if you were interested in finding out.
Tom Hanks played Tom Hanks, he is good at that. Luckily the character was basically Tom Hanks.
Sophie could have been hotter.
Not as much sexual tension as in the book.

I am sure that no one will have their faith tested by seeing this film.
If so, they had a pretty weak grasp on their illusion to begin with.
If the rabid, bible bashing, Christian right and god botherers take offence and start burning books, it shows the nature of their sanctimonious and close minded.