Istanbul A- Z

from Ataturk to Zoo

Ataturk: The cult of personality around this man, who modernised the aging empire nearly a hundred years ago, is still strongly felt. There will be no criticism of this man!

Baklava: sugar soaked, layered pastry that will rot the teeth, expand the waist line and is sold by the kilo.

Coffee: Thick, black and toxic if you make the mistake of sipping the dregs.

Dervish: These guys are still spinning despite the religious movement basically being banned in 1922. The tradition has been revived for the tourists, for a small fee of 25 ytl.

Eminonu: this is where all the ferries leave from and also a good place for people watching, tea and a fresh fish sandwich.

Fruit Sellers: These guys are everywhere, pushing their wooden carts and yelling incomprehensibly in the streets. The peaches are great this time of year.

Golden Horn: I shit you not! This is the name of the peninsular on the European side of the city. Home of Topkapi palace and Sultan Ahmet, it is where all the touristy stuff is located.

Headscarves: You look at pictures from the 1950s-60s you will not see one headscarf in Istanbul. Today, it is viewed by some as a type of rebellion against the secular state. You cannot wear a headscarf if you want to go to university or hold a government position.

Intolerence: of traffic, of the weather, of each other. You will see lots of this here.

Jellyfish: schools of the buggers. You will see them everywhere in the Bosphorus, even at the swimming beaches... ioooo

Kurds: I have read that one in three Turks are Kurdish. They are held in pretty low regard by the rest of the population, as the Kurdish Freedom Fighters (or the PKK terrorist, depending on your point of view) keep on blowing up bits of Istanbul.

Limonata: a sort of Turkish lemonade, very refreshing on a summer's day.

Metro: The Istanbul underground - very modern with plenty of glass and marble but only services a small part of the city.

Noses: This is how you can tell if an Istanbulu is from the east of Turkey. They all come from "Nose City" apparently.

Ottoman: The empire that took over eastern Europe, most of the middle east and a bit of North Africa... before they got hammered in World War Part One.

Pazar: The Anglicized version is Bazaar or market. Haggling is a essential part of the experience at the Grand Bazaar. The modern Turk seems to prefer the the massive, brightly lit, crisp, clean, muzak and product placement of the Shopping Mall. These are huge.

Queues: these do not work here. Go to the post office. Take ticket and then use your elbows to barge through to the front of the line.

Radio: There is about a million different radio stations in this town. You can have the latest selection of American chart music, Turkish pop and some good alternative stations as well. No BBC though damn it!

Simit: Those bread rings a bit like the German Breadzils, that are sold everywhere and make a filling, yet a little bland and carb enriched, fifty Kroosh breakfast.

Taxis: These guys can be annoying. "Baltilimani?" "No! Traffic! Problem!" Call yourself a bloody taxi driver... where is Robert De Nero when you need him.

Ulker: Turkish Nestle. Just as omnipresent but maybe not as evil.... maybe...

Very expensive Vhisky: There is no W in Turkish but there is Vhisky. Due to heavy taxes on every type of liquor other than the native raki, it is very expensive.

Water: Is what most people they say they like about Istanbul. The Bospherous is very beautiful, especially at night when your vision is impaired.

Xenophonbia:"The strong and unreasonable dislike or fear of people from other countries" from Collins Cobuild English Dictionary. Comments from students:"English and German peoples are cold" or "All black people are thieves and drug dealers." This might not be true of all Turks, but these beliefs are common among people I speak to. If not the dislike of other cultures, the strong and unreasonable belief in the superiority of theirs. Comments from students: "Turkey is the best country!" "What other countries have you been to?" "None, this is the best!"

Young: Due to the Turkish tradition of getting married and having lots of babies at an early age, the Turkish population is generally is very young, very poor and very illiterate (by Western standards).

Zoo: There is no zoo in Istanbul, unless you count the human zoo that some consider this city to be. There are many different species trapped here against their will. At least in a zoo they would get fed regularly.